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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343885">You Don't Have to Earn It, I'm Giving It Free</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bastarddotcom/pseuds/bastarddotcom'>bastarddotcom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Sex, M/M, References to Depression, Tender - Freeform, also very brief, bad at talking about feelings but good at feeling, but brief, let dorian pavus scion of my heart be happy you cowards, references to halward pavus aka That Prick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:49:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bastarddotcom/pseuds/bastarddotcom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Immediately following the confrontation with his father in Redcliffe, Dorian considers how he's grown from his past, and what pieces of it he will carry forever. He also considers Kieren Lavellan, his best friend and holder of his heart, and what's been standing between them all this time.</p><p>Like, pound for pound much of this is porn. Some of it is brooding, but most of it is smooching. I just wanted my boy to be happy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>124</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Don't Have to Earn It, I'm Giving It Free</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Time to go drink myself into a stupor," said Dorian. "Join me sometime, if you've a mind." He smiled in Kieren's direction, but his eyes were dim and far away. He didn't move to leave, instead leaning a bare shoulder against the stone at the window, eyeing the horizon in wordless dismissal. </p><p>Kieren grieved, silently, watching his friend posed in false nonchalance. For the thousandth time, he wished Dorian would let him help, but some things must be left to rest. He reluctantly made for his quarters.</p><p>Growing up in a Dalish clan, Kieren had little experience with the kind of prejudice that Dorian struggled with. When he was forced to pass through towns like Denerim he might catch a sneer or two from an old man, but it was impossible to tell if they were looking at his vallaslin or his… self. He had always known he preferred "the company of men," as Dorian had put it. He had never questioned it, and no one around him seemed to either. </p><p>All the same, his own experience with romance was fairly limited. There had been a traveler or two, a handful of small daliences with friends in the clan, but he had never found himself attached for more than a night or two. Not for lack of desire, but he had always considered it inconvenient and unwise to ask for anything else in an ever micurlial life. There had been times when he had wanted to ask, when a boy's eyes caught the moon just right, but shook off the notion, for both their sakes.</p><p>Dorian was different, in so many ways. He was his friend, each discovering that fact with a level of bemusement. Their ideals were so alike, it seemed that every time he turned to his friend for a bit of advice, Dorian knew what to say to give Kieren the confidence to trust his gut. </p><p>His presence always gave Kieren a sense of something unnameable. Something like relief, something like optimism, steadying as a hand on his shoulder. It was hard to pin down, but a moment with Dorian always left Kieren feeling more himself than before.</p><p>Dorian's eyes didn't catch the moon. They caught the candlelight in the library, the prisms made by the windows, the daylight reflecting off the sand, warming his skin. When those eyes met Kieren's, he felt oddly thankful. Lucky. So much could have pulled them away from looks like those, but there they were. Each time, a small smile could cross Dorian's face, a joke on his tongue to break the tension. Kieren didn't mind. He didn't know what to do with those moments either.</p><p>Exasperated, he realized that he was staring into the stained glass in his chamber, dreaming pointlessly of his friend's eyes. He sat at his desk and scrounged around the paperwork for something sobering. He tried to lose himself in reviewing the inventory of assets collected by the scouts that month. </p><p>Inevitably, he caught the word "serpentstone" one too many times and his mind drifted to a day, weeks ago. Dorian laid against a boulder on a riverbank in the Storm Coast, absorbing the sun from a break in the clouds. He had his face turned up, that same small private smile that Kieren had seen cross his face in the quiet moments between them.</p><p>He wished--he hoped that he made Dorian feel the same way, that respite from the darkness that surrounded their lives now.</p><p>Kieren was almost as much of a flirt as Dorian was, but neither had made to move on from idle banter. For himself, Kieren knew that if he let himself have Dorian for any length of time, he would have a hard time letting him go. He had gathered from lingering looks and pointed smiles that Dorian wouldn't be opposed to something physical, but Kieren wasn't ready to take a gamble, knowing the sorry extent of his own feelings and unsure of Dorian's.</p><p>Yes, friendship it was. Especially now, in the wake of Halward's ambush. He only wished that Dorian would allow him to be a better friend to him.</p><p>                        ---</p><p>Dorian listened to the Inquisitor's footsteps fade away before he allowed himself to drop into the chair beside his window.</p><p>The ride back from Redcliffe had left him feeling bruised. His stomach was rolling with the effort of pushing down his emotions. His throat was so tight he thought he might be sick, but he couldn't seem to make himself go back to his quarters yet, just a bit afraid of what thoughts would come in the silence.</p><p>He loved his father. It was Halward's voice in Dorian's head when he considered his actions. For all the perversions of his father's intentions, however much Dorian wished he could pretend that he was all but dead to him, he couldn't seem to shake the ghost of the man who had raised him. The disgust, the hatred, the betrayal he felt was tangled hopelessly in Dorian's bone-deep desire to make his father proud.</p><p>He knew that as soon as the door closed on his quarters, Dorian would break. His mind would fill with his father's words, and when he looked at his face in the water basin he would see Halward staring back. So he tucked his feet under him in the chair he had appropriated as his own when they arrived at Skyhold. It was still musty, and it creaked under his weight. Not the ideal sanctuary, perhaps, but the sound of the birds would save him from himself as the night dragged on. He began thumbing through any nearest book, watching the paragraphs slip by without comprehending them.</p><p>Kieren had called him brave, but Dorian merely felt beaten, sore and winded as if from a battle dearly won. Fighting for what you believe in certainly did call for a lot of fighting, and Dorian was tired. </p><p>The ambush in Redcliffe had left him with a strange new dissonance. It was almost funny, standing between the personification of everything he feared he was, his father, tight and manipulative, and everything he hoped he could become, Kieren, open and understanding. It was an uncanny feeling, being caught physically between your regrets and your dreams.</p><p>Dorian had known that Kieren was like him. No one had ever told him, but it was generally understood. He had seen Kieren's eyes linger over Varric's open shirt, or Bull's straining arms. He certainly couldn't blame him, his own eyes wandered in similar directions, but each time he observed Kieren's interest, however passive, something in Dorian's stomach dropped just a bit.</p><p>He knew he had no right to Kieren's attention, but that didn't make him any less covetous of it. The sound of Kieren bounding up the steps to the library always made Dorian's heart leap a little, the words on the page jumbling as his friend's voice called out in greeting. He would approach him with a breezy step and a smile, the tension in his shoulders visibly lessened. Despite all odds and intentions, Dorian considered him one of his dearest friends, and suspected that Kieren felt the same way.</p><p>It had always been easy between them. Even as they met with a rift over their heads and demons on all sides, they quipped back and forth about fruit baskets. As they were hurtled into a red-tinged and dreary future, each looked at the other with a dry shrug, because their days had already been so damned weird. </p><p>Dorian had never felt his trust blossom so quickly, and it scared him. He had experimented with distancing himself with dry insults and flippancy, but Kieren had only parried back with a laugh. Whenever he looked at him, Dorian was overcome with the feeling that Kieren saw him as he was, as if Dorian's carefully applied social veneers weren't there at all. Horrifying as this was, he found himself feeling relieved. "Let me take that mask for you," Kieren's laugh seemed to say. "Who do you think you're kidding?"</p><p>"Well," thought Dorian. "Everyone. Except you."</p><p>He knew Kieren hadn't been convinced when Dorian had asked him to leave him alone. He didn't want to be alone, but he couldn't ask his friend to hold this weight for him, not when the fate of Thedas hung so heavy on him already. But he thought of how easy it would be, to find Kieren and lay down his heart like a heavy pack. Just for a while. Just until he wasn't quite so sore anymore.</p><p>He huffed, sick of his own melancholy.</p><p>He reached for some of the liquid strength that he kept hidden behind the tomes on Tevinter flora, flipping idly through the driest pages in Skyhold as he took long pulls of… he sniffed the flask. He couldn't for the life of him remember what he had stowed there. It smelled like a laboratory and tasted like peat, so he supposed it would do.</p><p>He had just gotten to a slight buzz and the chapter on medicinal perennials when the lump in his throat reappeared. He swallowed against it, cleared his throat. It lodged deeper, finally pushing up without warning.</p><p>"Oh shit, shit," he whispered, trying to wipe tears from his cheeks. He looked down at his hands, appalled to find wet, smeared kohl. "Fuck." He hadn't given his eyes permission to do this here. "Fuck," he said again, chest heaving up.</p><p>He shuddered, and then the tears wouldn't stop. He sobbed silently in his corner for some time, trying to hold his breath against the feeling, trying to lay his hand on anything to drag him out of his own mind. The flask was empty, and he resisted the urge to fling it off the balcony. </p><p>It was blessedly late at this point; he couldn't hear any shuffling of feet from above or below, only the gentle titter of birds.</p><p>He allowed himself exactly two more minutes of dramatic heaving. He felt he'd earned it, afterall. Two more minutes of this, he promised himself, and then he would get up, go to his room, and wash the whole ordeal off in a scalding hot bath. And then perhaps tomorrow he would ask the Inquisitor if there were any suitably brutal tasks afoot in the world. </p><p>Two minutes passed. He tucked his book under his arm and stood up, pleased with the solidity of the stone under his boots. He took the steps down two at a time, assuming that if he fell and cracked his head open it would at least be a way out. He made it to the hall and turned right.</p><p>His footsteps began echoing now, the sound making him feel very small. </p><p>The grand hall was truly magnificent at this point, all the scaffolding having made way for mosaics and tapestry. He walked across the darkened room as if he had never seen it before, briefly eyeing Varric's hearth behind him, now gone cold.</p><p>The ceiling was high and vaulted, like an Orlesian chantry, thick columns holding it like steady fingers holding open a book. The only light in the hall was from the moon through the stained glass behind the Inquisitor's throne, casting long, pale shadows that seemed to reach for his feet. When he stepped into the light he felt as if he ought to be able to feel it against his skin.</p><p>"Throne" never seemed like the right word, Dorian had always thought. It brought about connotations of kings, tyrants. It was where the Inquisitor sat in judgement, but the chair had always seemed like it belonged to someone else. Behind the look of determination on his face, Dorian could see that Kieren sat gingerly, as if someone at any moment might tell him to stop pretending and go to his room. Greatness had been thrust upon their Inquisitor, and no matter how bravely he faced it, part of Dorian could always tell that he had rather it hadn't.</p><p>He was right up against the dias now, and he watched the sky through the window. He had never seen it look like this in Minrathous. The sky between the stars was dead black, almost frightening in its completeness, and the stars stood out so clearly, as if holding his gaze. The stars back home were dim through the dust and light of the city, they had looked so disinterested.</p><p>"The stars seem closer up here," came a voice.</p><p>He nearly fell over, flipping around to see a figure slotted neatly into a shadow. "Kaffas, Cole!"</p><p>Cole was looking at him, confused. "Seeing and seen, knowing and known, and knowing nothing all the same," he said softly. "But it would be so easy."</p><p>Most of the time Dorian didn't mind Cole's being around. He was harmless enough, and terribly useful for the Inquisition's more esoteric trials. When Dorian had first met Cole he'd thought he'd be able to pick the boy's mind on practical aspects of the Fade. Cole had only responded by smiling and telling Dorian he looked nothing like a mirror. Since then he'd found a way to give the lad a wide berth.</p><p>He puffed out a sigh. "Can't you scratch someone else's scabs tonight?"</p><p>"Scabs," said Cole thoughtfully.</p><p>"Indeed," said Dorian. "Now if you'll excuse me."</p><p>"Finding strength behind flowers, reaching, dry, dusty, hands patting blindly through history. This pain isn't where I left it."</p><p>"Yes yes, sad old Dorian, what handsome rogue, and what's a Romantic archetype without a good brood now and then?"</p><p>Cole watched him patiently, as if waiting out a snatch of summer rain. "It worries him; he knows it isn't brooding," said Cole.</p><p>"Who?"</p><p>"Kieren," said Cole, obviously.</p><p>"The Inquisitor worries about all of us, down to the teeny weeniest little scullery maid. He's funny like that, but I suppose that's why they give him the big chair."</p><p>"Not like this," said Cole. His eyes flicked back up, as if to confirm something with the stars. </p><p>"The first fall of rain in the desert, dripping down dry leaves, pulling the first full lungful of air in a week, I look and he's squinting up at the sky, drops gathering on his brow, and when he laughs it's real. I want to push his dark hair from his face, I want to show him how beautiful he is."</p><p>Dorian wished his legs would let him walk away, but Cole was looking at something behind his shoulder.</p><p>"He misses you," said Cole. "You saw him only a few hours ago. You miss him too."</p><p>Dorian followed Cole's gaze, knowing that they would be looking at Kieren's door.</p><p>"Is he awake?" he asked.</p><p>Cole smiled, relieved. "Yes." And he was gone.</p><p>                        ---</p><p>Footsteps in the middle of the night were never a great sign, but Kieren had been staring through paperwork at his desk for an age, and he'd welcome anything short of a varghast shitting in his sheets.</p><p>"If this is an emergency it had better be a damned interesting one," he called in the direction of the stairs.</p><p>"Emergency, perhaps not. Interesting, always." Dorian. After a few more steps his head appeared over the railing, but he stopped when he saw Kieren at his desk. "What void-taken reports could have you awake at this hour?"</p><p>Kieren sighed down at the near treatise-length report Dagna had sent him. "You know, when you're tired enough it's so easy to get lost in the minutia. How do dragonling scales stay so strong but supple when tanned?"</p><p>"Something to do with them being scales, probably, rather than leather," said Dorian. When Kieren looked up he found that his friend had made it past the stairs only to prop himself against a pillar.</p><p>"I have chairs," said Kieren, indicating the armchair beside him, closer to the hearth.</p><p>"They do treat you well," said Dorian, crossing his arms.</p><p>"Hm," said Kieren, dog-earing his place in the report. He meant to say something clever about wasting the best appointments on one oft-absent ass, but Dorian's posture had taken that affected languidness that usually meant he was gearing up for a fight. </p><p>"How are you feeling?" he said.</p><p>"Horrid, to tell you the truth," said Dorian, face turned toward the balcony above Kieren's bed. "Did you know that your quarters has a second level to it? What in the world could you keep up there?"</p><p>Kieren shrugged. "Dust, mostly. A few similarly neglected chairs."</p><p>"Seems like quite a good spot for reading. Not too bright, you can't be seen from the door. Awfully quiet, I'd wager."</p><p>Kieren smiled. "Did you come to commandeer my appointments, Dorian?"</p><p>His friend seemed to hesitate, clearing his throat. "That place you call a library smells of paint and bird shit, and there's always a mumbling Tranquil about. It's as if disconnection from the Fade took their ability to read in their head. You say there's a chair up there already?" He crossed the room as he spoke and was looking up the ladder.</p><p>"They're rather moth-bitten," said Kieren.</p><p>"Aren't we all?" said Dorian. "I shan't be a bother." He put one on the ladder and leaned experimentally, as if expecting it to break. "Quiet as a mouse." He looked back at Kieren.</p><p>The firelight finally caught his face. It was evident now that his friend has been crying. His eyes red, his kohl smudged, a bit of it smeared it across his cheekbone where he had tried to wipe it away.</p><p>"By all means," said Kieren, making a gentle shooing motion.</p><p>Dorian climbed the rest of the ladder without a word, and Kieren listened to him rustle around, banging a hand on a chair and grumbling about spiders. Kieren supposed the fond smirk on his face couldn't do any harm if Dorian couldn't see it. </p><p>He heard the creak of ancient springs as Dorian tested them. "Oh, I don't suppose you have a spare candle?" came a voice after a moment.</p><p>"What happened to 'quiet as a mouse'?" said Kieren, digging through a drawer for the newest candle, placing it in a silver holder. "Such a demanding mouse!"</p><p>He heard an affected sigh. "Well I can use magefire if that suits you, but it is rather dry up here."</p><p>"Threats! After I open my doors to you? Allow you to sit on some of my favorite garbage?" He creaked his way up the ladder, candle in hand. When he poked his head up to floor level, he saw that Dorian had pulled the most padded and therefore most threadbare-looking chair from the corner, and was seated rather primly with a book on his lap. "What are you reading?"</p><p>Dorian glanced at the cover. "Smut," he said.</p><p>"Ah," said Kieren, lighting the wick with a flame conjured on the tip of his finger. He craned his head to see a book covered in dull silver vines, the title Flores In Patria entwined neatly between them. "There's a joke about flowery prose here somewhere," he said.</p><p>"Nothing gets me going like a well-illustrated stemen." Dorian was on the brink of smiling, to Kieren's secret relief. It had been a trying few days for both of them, and knowing that Dorian was near and well would help him rest in a way that he hadn't considered he needed.</p><p>"Well I won't keep you from it, then," said Kieren. "Just don't wake me with all your wonton moaning." He expected his friend to laugh at that, if not lift a comical eyebrow, but Dorian's face sank, some quiet thought crossing his face.</p><p>Kieren swallowed. "Do you need a blanket? It gets a bit drafty at night."</p><p>"No, thank you," said Dorian distantly. </p><p>"Um, alright." He could see the melancholy resurfacing on Dorian's face as he glanced back toward the ladder. "Are you sure?" he said after a moment, trying to brighten. "I have a little stash of tea in my desk, or perhaps something stronger hidden somewhere, if I look."</p><p>He had to make a conscious effort not to worry about his friend. They both knew that it wasn't dragonling scales that had kept him awake, just as they knew that it wasn't the birds that had driven Dorian from the library.</p><p>"I'm perfectly happy, Mother, thank you," said Dorian, taking the candle from Kieren's hand, carefully avoiding his fingers.</p><p>His eyes. Kieren didn't know if it was the candlelight or the kohl smeared beneath them, but something in Dorian's eyes was asking, pleading him for something he didn't quite understand.</p><p>Kieren could leave, stoke the fire and climb into bed, fall asleep to the sound of turning pages above him. He wondered if Dorian would be gone in the morning. He wondered if he would be leaving something behind if he descended the ladder now. </p><p>He could joke back, wait for Dorian to laugh it off, shoo him away. Kieren would smile over his shoulder, content to be dismissed, knowing that he wasn't wanted. What pained him was Dorian's eyes, open, afraid, hoping. Kieren knew he was wanted, but he wasn't sure what to give him.</p><p>He was sure what he wanted himself. He wanted to kneel down between Dorian's knees and kiss away whatever was in those eyes. To push back his hair, hold him by the jaw and tell him how wonderful he was. But his friend was grieving, he knew. He couldn't make assumptions now. But Dorian obviously needed him to do something, and the least he could do was be honest.</p><p>"I… I can't pretend to know what you need right now," he said. "But, just know that no matter what you've been through, I'm so selfishly glad it made you who you are."</p><p>Dorian simply looked at him for a moment, smiling weakly. "I know," he said. "Isn't that odd?"</p><p>He swallowed, visabley searching for words. Kieren waited, pushing down the impulse to reach for his hand.</p><p>"Whether I wanted to or not, I've laid it all down at your feet, haven't I? My sordid past, all my little fears. I never meant to."</p><p>Kieren opened his mouth but Dorian pressed on.</p><p>"All these little things I keep tucked away," he said "They fall out in front of you, and you pick them up and hand them back to me, no trouble at all. When you look at me, it's like you're saying, 'Yes, that's fine, not to worry.' And the odd thing about that is… when you look at me that way, it is fine. It's all a bit easier, knowing that you aren't completely repulsed by my whole…" He gestured nonsensically, drawing in a breath. "The whole sorry truth." </p><p>He huffed, shoulders squared even as he searched Kieren's face, frightened.</p><p>He had held the candle away from him, but even in the dark Kieren could see that Dorian was watching him, face carefully set save for those pleading eyes. Kieren knelt down, leveling their faces. </p><p>Carefully, he laid his hand on Dorian's bare shoulder, so warm but held tense against his touch.  When he seemed to relax, Kieren pushed his hand further, playing his fingers lightly against the warmth of Dorian's neck. Dorian's face remained blank, but he tilted his head slightly, giving Kieren room to run fingers through the hair at the base of his skull.</p><p>Kieren just stayed a moment, tracing small circles, listening to his friend's breath even and slow. Eventually Dorian closed his eyes, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. "I…" he said. He let out another shaky breath, swallowing thickly.</p><p>"Dorian," said Kieren, steadily as he could. "You really are the most beautiful man."</p><p>Dorian puffed a laugh.</p><p>"Your hair is truly horrible when you let it grow too long," said Kieren, making Dorian open his eyes, incredulous. </p><p>"You wear the silliest armor I have ever seen. You're obtuse and pedantic. Brilliant, hilarious," Kieren smiled. "You make me laugh harder than anyone in the world. You're kind, though you'd never admit it with a straight face."</p><p>Dorian reached up to ghost a hand along Kieren's cheek. Kieren rubbed the kohl off of Dorian's with a thumb.</p><p>"You're passionate," he said. "Stubborn. Willful. Your head can be so thick that I sometimes  wonder if you need a helmet at all. You've seen the worst of this world, looked into the darkest corners of it, and you still want to fix it, make it all better. You truly believe that it can be better." Dorian was searching his face with heavily lidded eyes. "You give me hope," Kieren finished.</p><p>Dorian was smiling against the tears threatening at the corners of his eyes. "A rather saucy confession. You couldn't just give a man a simple compliment, could you?"</p><p>Kieren shrugged. "Your head's big enough as it is. And, it's the whole of your parts that make you who you are."</p><p>He took the candle on its saucer with the hand that had been holding their faces together, setting it gently on the stone railing behind him.</p><p>He turned back, the light spread more evenly now. Dorian's eyes were raw, fixed on Kieren like he was the only thing in the room. That was enough for him.</p><p>He shuffled back and leaned tentatively, bracing himself with a hand on the arm of Dorian's chair. He watched for a moment, and finally brushed his lips over Dorian's cheek, light as a whisper. </p><p>When he pulled back to check his face, Dorian's eyes were closed. Kieren felt him sigh, melting slightly. Kieren hesitated before beginning to trail his lips up, ghosting kisses as he went, holding Dorian's jaw as he kissed his temple, below his eye, the side of that aristocratic nose. The corner of his lips, brushing against his moustache. Dorian reached up and held the back of his head.</p><p>Kieren pulled away, breath shaking slightly; Dorian's eyes fluttered open. "Before I do something stupid, I just. I worry," said Kieren. "But I'd rather--you--you need to know that you are my friend, more than my friend. I trust you completely, and I can't, I won't let anything get in the way of that. That trust is everything to me, I would never want to… But just… you have to know by now, I do love you."</p><p>Dorian was watching his lips, hand tightening on the back of Kieren's neck.</p><p>"And, you know, no need to love me back," said Kieren, trying to laugh to cover the way his throat caught. "I, I never thought--you make me feel… I've never felt like this. But," he tried to smile through the tears now slipping down his face, "just. Know that I love you. That's all."</p><p>"Oh," said Dorian, and nothing more. He released Kieren's head and put the book aside. He swallowed down his tears, watching Dorian's boots as he stood from the chair, refusing to meet his friend's eyes when he walked away.</p><p>Instead, boots were replaced by thighs, as Dorian gingerly knelt in front of him. When he looked up Dorian was smiling, reaching to hold Kieren's face between his hands. "Alright then," he said, and kissed him.</p><p>Kieren's eyebrows shot up. He clutched at Dorian's face, and they stayed like that as they pulled apart, mirrors of one another.</p><p>"Alright then," said Kieren, blinking.</p><p>Dorian leaned back into him with a giggle, gripping the base of his skull gently, tilting Kieren's head to deepen the kiss. Kieren clutched at Dorian's shoulders, restless hands smoothing down his back and ribs before settling on his hips, holding as Dorian kissed him breathless. He made a low sound as Kieren's hands tightened, so Kieren pulled, bringing their bodies flush.</p><p>Dorian made a small, desperate noise, brows knit in concentration. "I, uh," he said. He gripped Kieren's ass with one hand, pulling them together with a hitch to his breath. Kieren responded by leaning fully into him, bending his head to kiss Dorian's throat, which bobbed as he tried to speak. No words came, but Kieren thought he understood, smiling into his skin.</p><p>"Right," Dorian whispered. He huffed a shaky breath next to Kieren's ear, making him shiver. His heart swelled with it, clutching at Dorian desperately, sending silent thanks to the Creators for the man in his arms.</p><p>                        ---</p><p>Dorian was not inexperienced with sex. This part ought to be easy, he thought. What he wasn't familiar with was how Kieren held him, light like an animal that might break and run. It thrilled him, sent gooseflesh up his skin wherever Kieren touched him. He felt the love pouring out of him as they kissed, overwhelming even through layers of clothing.</p><p>"We, please, bed," Kieren managed, audibly dazed. "I have a bed."</p><p>"Beds and chairs, how they spoil you," Dorian murmured, pulling Kieren by the collar as they stood.</p><p>Mindful of the candle still burning behind them, he pushed Kieren against the stone railing, slotting their bodies together, kissing and pulling artlessly. He was typically good at this, efficient, but the way Kieren kissed him so ardently made him fumble.</p><p>He grasped Kieren's face, hanging on like a drowning man. His body ached to be closer, make Kieren understand something that words were too small to say.</p><p>"Bed, Dorian," said Kieren, words caught between their mouths.</p><p>"Five more minutes," he mumbled, pushing Kieren's loose shirt up to run his hands up his chest, over his ribs. Kieren arched to his touch, breath stuttering slightly. Dorian had imagined this in quiet moments on the road, when Kieren loosened his armor from the heat, sweat dripping down his collarbone.</p><p>Kieren tugged uselessly at the straps of Dorian's shirt, settling eventually for simply pushing at the small of his back, crushing Dorian's body into him. </p><p>Both of them gasped, feeling how hard they were against each other; impulsively, Dorian used the advantage of Kieren's looser clothing to slip a hand under his waistband, relishing the warmth there, the feel of fine hair. Kieren groaned, pulling Dorian's lower lip between his teeth in retaliation. </p><p>"Bed, bed, please," he begged, even as he tried to push up into Dorian's touch.</p><p>"So demanding!" he laughed. He slid his hand the rest of the way around Kieren's cock, pulling the most delicious sound from him as he did, sending a shiver right up Dorian's spine. "Now who's moaning wantonly?" </p><p>"Bastard," gasped Kieren, rocking into his touch. Dorian worked him slowly at first, picking up the pace as he realized how desperate Kieren was getting already. He ended langid strokes with sudden, unexpected pressure, not quite even enough to push him over the edge, but enough for Kieren to begin shaking against him.</p><p>"Insufferable man," Kieren managed. "I swear, when I get you down there I'll make you see the void for this."</p><p>Dorian thought suddenly that he had never laughed so readily while bringing a man to pleasure. "I certainly hope so, amatus," he purred into his ear. Kieren was well and truly bucking into him now. "Do you want to come for me, darling?"</p><p>Kieren looked up, meeting his eyes, obviously torn. "I… I want more," he said, still clutching at Dorian's flank, encouraging him to press impossibly closer. "I need more tonight."</p><p>"You'll have to be patient, won't you? I've a mind to use this mouth of yours," Dorian said, leaning to catch an ear between his lips. He pulled down with a scrape of teeth as he pushed into Kieren, moving against his thigh to make his own interest obvious. Kieren groaned, sounding nearly pained with want.</p><p>"Maker, Kieren, I've thought about your mouth," Dorian breathed against his ear. "I've imagined your lips around me, would you be slow, I wondered, would you be measured, pulling me apart?" He kissed, licked at the soft skin along his neck, the hand on Kieren's cock moving steadily. "But I think you're too hungry for that tonight, aren't you? Will you swallow me down, will you f--"</p><p>"Dorian," he pleased. "Yes, yes I--" Kieren stuttered a few almost-words before giving up, thrusting urgently into Dorian's hand, breaths ragged. "Please," he whispered. "Dorian, please." He was palming at Dorian's trousers, but his hands were shaking too much to give anything beyond scrambling pressure at Dorian's clothed cock.</p><p>"Please what, amatus?" he purred, smiling against Kieren's skin.</p><p>"Fuck," breathed Kieren. "Ar tu na'din, vhenan."</p><p>"And what could that mean?" grinned Dorian, leaning back to watch Kieren's face, screwed-up and panting.</p><p>"It means I'm going to rip you apart if you don't make me come right now."</p><p>Dorian actually giggled, finally freeing Kieren's cock from his trousers.</p><p>"With pleasure," he said, dropping to his knees.</p><p>"Whuh--Where are you going?" Kieren whined, sending a new rush of warmth through Dorian's chest. He thought he could kiss the man for hours and still be able miss his mouth when he pulled away.</p><p>Heart heaving with affection, Dorian took him into his mouth. The man above him gasped, throat working wordlessly as he tried to stay upright. Fighting a smirk, Dorian worked one hand up to cup Kieren's balls, ghosting one long finger over his hole like a promise.</p><p>"F-fuck," choked Kieren. "Dorian, fuck. Please, I--Creators, Dorian please." </p><p>Dorian bobbed his head, humming appreciatively at the taste of him. He'd always enjoyed this part, but he'd never known it to be so joyful, coaxing a feeling more than pleasure from the man in his mouth. It felt like them, he thought suddenly. The easiness, the obviousness of it, as if they had been meant to be doing this all along. The rightness of it, the joy of it filled Dorian's chest. He looked up to meet Kieren's eyes.</p><p>And he was watching him, lips parted, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "Dorian…" he said, as if he was hearing every word he spoke into his skin. Dorian had to stop himself from grinning back, to keep his jaw slack and mindful of teeth. The taste of him was almost too much, the taste of his skin, that undoubtably Kieren scent went straight to his head. He felt drunk on it, greedy for it. He was suspended between the need to swallow him fully down and the sight of those clever eyes watching him from above. Until slow, painfully gentle fingers began to card through his hair.</p><p>With a small moan, he reached and held Kieren's hip firmly, relaxed his throat and began truly fucking himself on Kieren's cock. Kieren's face slackened entirely as Dorian took him. The sight of him was glorious. He had to stop himself from smiling at how lost Kieren was, obviously trying not to tug, not to thrust into his mouth. He relished every breath, every little groan, as Kieren watched him, eyes heavy with awe and affection.</p><p>"Dorian," he said, all too soon. Dorian simply slid back slightly to better work the underside of his cock. "Dorian," he said again, more urgently. Dorian blinked slowly at him, giving permission.</p><p>Kieren choked out a sob, spilling into his mouth, warm and heady, and Dorian swallowed it down covetously. He rode him out until Kieren was sagging against him, doubled over and spent.</p><p>He pulled away, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He grinned up at him, smug. Kieren bent and took his face immediately between his hands, kissing him hungrily. </p><p>"Bastard," he whispered against his mouth.</p><p>Dorian only hummed, unable to stop the smile spreading across his face. He stole another kiss as he stood and put Kieren's trousers to rights. "What's this you say about a bed?" he said.</p><p>Kieren pushed him toward the ladder, slapping Dorian's ass as they went.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title from "Lovin' Is Easy" by Carsie Blanton</p><p>Thanks for reading. Team Happy Dorian Pavus 4 Life.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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